Review: The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

Directed by: Chris Weitz
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner

After a fateful occurrence at the Cullen household during Bella’s eighteenth birthday celebration, Edward announces that he and his family will be leaving Forks, Washington for good in favor of giving Bella back the normal life she once had. Shortly thereafter, a crippling emptiness fills our female protagonist, thus sending her into a near catatonic state of depression for several months. Thankfully, childhood friend Jacob Black swoops in to both save the day and potentially fill the void Bella’s been harboring all this time. When secrets pertaining to Jacob’s life in his neck of the woods begin to surface however, this new friendship inevitably becomes strained in the wake of some increasingly odd occurrences.

No one said translating poorly written shlock to the big screen would be an easy task, but like its predecessor, oodles and oodles of ineptitude ooze freely from New Moon’s every pore. I actually feel kind of bad for Weitz, because even though the second installment is nothing more than mindless drivel of the worst kind, his intentions were to make it at least somewhat tolerable and, above all, “better” than the first film. Unfortunately, screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg has returned once again to mercilessly slam line after line of cheesy incongruous dialogue into our heads, meaning if you didn’t get a good laugh out of the original Twilight, you’ll have a whopping two hours and ten minutes to do so this time around.

Rosenberg’s also found solace in thoroughly embracing all of the themes Meyer so vehemently outlined in her beloved novels: unhealthy obsession, superficiality, and of course, a profound overabundance of teen angst. What this has resulted in is more or less an overly moody, slow paced broodfest devoid of anything even remotely interesting. In fact, the only appealing sequence, to me at least, features a slow motion chase sequence involving a vampire and a werewolf, the concept of which should appeal to just about anyone but almost doesn’t thanks to some seriously laughable CGI.

And thus we’re left with the acting, which is just as piss-poor as the first Twilight, if not infinitely worse. I’m sure the script is just as much to blame as the efforts of the cast, but it gets to the point where characters like Lautner’s Jacob stand around shirtless based on principle and deliver their lines just because they have to. Not even Stewart can save the film this time around given how genuinely unlikable her character is and always will be. Thankfully, Michael Sheen swoops in to save the day with his respectable portrayal of Aro, leader of the mysterious Volturi, of whom establish all the known rules of the vampire universe.

At the risk of sounding incredibly redundant, this film is just what fans of the books have been waiting for, and everything those with all five of their senses and an appreciation for actual cinema will inevitably loathe. Yes, it does possess one or two elements that aren’t completely laughable, but aside from these, New Moon is just an overlong, overly moody, poorly acted and generally unappealing mess. Again, if you’re a fan of Meyer’s books, by all means, check it out if you already haven’t in past twenty-four hours. If not, you’ll find it hard to determine what you’re witnessing on the screen in front of you really is: an actual film or a drawn-out joke in bad taste.

Rating: 2/10

Review: Dark City (1998)

Directed by: Alex Proyas
Starring: Rufus Sewell, Kiefer Sutherland, Jennifer Connelly

John Murdoch has awakened to what most people would classify as a living nightmare: a dead woman lying next to the bed in his hotel room and no recollection of who he is or how he got there. With a local detective hot on his trail and an estranged wife left in the dark about his whereabouts, John must confide in his unstable psychiatrist Dr. Schreber in order to help him rediscover who he really is. As events begin to unfold however, John stumbles upon the existence of a mysterious otherworldly race whose intentions pose a bigger threat than any of the obstacles he was previously faced with.

As with most dystopian science fiction classics, Blade Runner and Brazil notably, there always seems to be an indigenous visual quality that gives the film a boost in either staying true to its source material or having an appropriate impact on the intended audience. Dark City is no exception to this quality, staying painstakingly true to its title via an overly bleak atmosphere and darkness abound. Additionally, Dark City also finds solace in the obligatory Big Brother-esque entity that, although a tad much, makes the film all the more enjoyable by way of a substantial amount of suspense and intrigue, even if the plot itself isn’t all that original.

As a whole though, the script manages to deliver several welcome curveballs that aren’t entirely clichéd and effectively add to the aura of mystery lurking around every corner as John struggles to reclaim his identity. While this remains one of Dark City’s strong suits throughout its duration, I can’t help but frown upon the overwhelming sense of ambiguity that lingers about until the film’s incredibly satisfying conclusion. Granted, this ambiguity occasionally aids in generating the aforementioned sense of suspense that lingers about during the film’s more appealing sequences, but in terms of plot development, I feel it becomes somewhat hindered by this in the long run. All in all though, such a detail is relatively negligible given how fantastic the final moments truly are.

Dark City’s cast is also stellar, further adding to the film’s appeal. Although Sewell’s efforts as the amnesiac protagonist are very respectable, I still don’t know how I felt about him as the film’s central character based on how little I’ve seen him elsewhere. Sutherland on the other hand is terrific as the manic Dr. Schreber, as is Hurt as the excessively stubborn, by-the-book Inspector Bumstead. As for Connelly, her involvement isn’t all too important until the film’s latter half, seeing as how it’s very easily overshadowed by more poignant happenings, but her efforts are indeed noteworthy nonetheless.

To sum it up, Dark City surely isn’t your run-of-the-mill dystopian sci-fi experience. While some plot elements do come off as a tad derivative, the rest of the film manages to remain appealing thanks to a some dazzling visuals, a hefty amount of intrigue and a terrific cast. Even better still is how director Alex Proyas managed to get at least one sleeper hit under his belt before producing garbage in the same vein as Knowing. Very much worth a view.

Rating: 8/10

Review: Where the Wild Things Are (2009)

Directed by: Spike Jonze
Starring: Max Records, Catherine Keener, James Gandolfini

After a rather severe altercation with his mother, boisterous young Max feels compelled to escape the confines of his own house in favor of somewhere special. His destination? An island inhabited by mysterious creatures known as the Wild Things, of whom welcome Max with open arms and promptly crown him as their new king. Enthralled by this turn of events, Max initially assumes his duties as king will be limited and easy to fulfill. Soon enough, he grimly realizes that being king is harder than he thought, thus resulting in an inevitable strain on the relationship he has with the Wild Things and disagreements abound.

One of the things I found most appealing about Where the Wild Things Are from the get-go is without a doubt the amount of effort it’d take to translate an easy, ten-minute read into a feature-length film, even with Jonze at the helm. While an observation such as this does frequently come into play at several points throughout the film’s unsubstantial narrative, it’s hard to deny that the true essence of Maurice Sendak’s classic isn’t portrayed in the fullest. Screenwriters Eggers and Jonze are ultimately to thank here, what with their ability to so accurately portray what it’s like to be an overly imaginative child hitting all the right notes whenever possible.

Despite a truly breathtaking visual quality to compliment the equally impressive script, the excessively bleak tone exhibited at several points throughout Wild Things most certainly won’t appeal to everyone. Being a huge fan of Jonze myself, I felt his direction was more or less spot-on and generally very appealing, but given the obvious juvenile nature of the source material, younger audiences will ultimately have a hard time appreciating such an approach. Additionally, the film’s runtime, although not too lengthy, does become a bit problematic seeing as how brainless a majority of it is, but if you enter the theater with an open mind, such a detail is relatively negligible.

As for the cast, the part of Max is brilliantly portrayed by newcomer Max Records, bringing just the right amount of emotion to the table whenever the script demands it, even if he does tend to go a little overboard at points. Thankfully, the efforts of the Wild Things are indeed rather terrific and manage to overshadow just about anything unfavorable in this regard, with Gandolfini stealing the show as the moody, indecisive Carol. All in all, I think it’s safe to say that these portrayals of Sendak’s beloved characters bring a great amount to the table when confronted with some of the film’s weaker suits.

So, when it comes down to it, the one question that should be asked is this: Did this film match my exceedingly high expectations? Well… no, no it didn’t, but I ensure you, I wasn’t disappointed. While I found it relatively easy to enjoy the more playful side of the narrative, the darker tone it possesses assuredly won’t appeal to everyone, especially younger audiences. Luckily, such a flaw can be overlooked to an extent thanks to the voice talents of a fantastic ensemble cast and the appealing childlike nature in which a majority of the film is presented.

Rating: 7/10

Review: All the Real Girls (2003)

Directed by: David Gordon Green
Starring: Paul Schneider, Zooey Deschanel, Shea Whigham

Paul is what you’d call a womanizer. In a small, rural southern town much like the one Paul lives in, a title like that will most likely get you recognized as such by just about everybody that counts. Having lived his entire life based on these principles of lust and just having a good time, things become increasingly complicated when Paul begins to fall for Noel, an unassuming virgin that just so happens to be his best friend Tip’s younger sister. When Tip learns of this treachery, his friendship with Paul inevitably hits the rocks, all while Paul continually struggles to overcome his womanizing ways and experience true love for the first time in his life.

All the Real Girls is a perfect example of how the quality of a film will inevitably suffer on the basis of the ungodly amount of clichés it chooses to embrace. In terms of this particular script, we’re introduced to everything rebellious youths residing in the South are supposedly very fond of, i.e. beer, automobiles, stock car racing, more beer, and sleeping around because, well, there’s just nothing better to do. Additionally, everyone speaks with a very affected, almost laughable southern drawl, of which seems to take away from the insight the film has pertaining to themes of love, lust, and the conflict these ideas can bring about.

Southern stereotypes aside, the film really does provide us with an excellent sense of authenticity present within the predicaments each of the central characters find themselves in as a result of their budding relationship, including the genuine interaction that takes place between them at countless points throughout the film’s narrative. Furthermore, the characters are fleshed out surprisingly well despite the obvious podunk nature of their very existence, and Schneider’s character Paul possesses a hefty (to say the least) amount of flaws that manage to pave the way for many a moment showcasing both severe intrinsic and extrinsic conflict. As for Deschanel’s Noel, I found it somewhat difficult to appreciate everything her character had to offer that didn’t directly affect Paul in the long run, seeing as how her behavior becomes so erratic and just plain ridiculous that it’s more or less impossible to find her at all likable by the film’s end.

As for the cast, Schneider manages to be quite impressive as Paul, despite the aforementioned ghastly affect his accent has on each and every verbal exchange he has with his comrades. Thankfully, he and Deschanel exhibit some palpable chemistry and interact just as well with the supporting cast. This in mind, a substantial amount of comic relief resides within the often hilarious efforts of Danny McBride and his character Bust-Ass’s nitwit demeanor, of which is most definitely a welcome departure from the film’s more depressing moments.

To sum it all up, All the Real Girls really does offer some great insight behind the ideas of lust, love, and what can come of them in terms of the strain they can easily put on the relationships with those we love the most. Despite a ghastly amount of southern clichés, David Gordon Green’s indie drama manages not to hit too many sour notes and remains enjoyable thanks to a swell cast and a thoroughly enjoyable air of authenticity surrounding its more poignant sequences. If you’re a little more than turned off by the weak points I’ve outlined however, ye be warned: films like this surely aren’t for everyone.

Rating: 7/10

Review: Zombieland (2009)

Directed by: Ruben Fleischer
Starring: Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone

When their world inexplicably succumbs to an (almost) all-consuming zombie apocalypse, survivors Columbus and Tallahassee are forced to devise their own ways of staying alive amongst the countless amounts of flesh-hungry undead. Columbus, being the friendless wuss that he is, has learned to use this ineptitude to his advantage in order to devise a list of survival rules he and everyone should follow to always be one step ahead of the formerly living. Tallahassee on the other hand is a gun-toting macho man stereotype that believes living without fear is the only way to go. When their fates unexpectedly collide, what ensues is an hilarious gore-filled romp through horde after horde of mindless undead… all while staying in pursuit of the world’s last remaining Twinkies.

There’s undoubtedly been frequent talk about the all-too-familiar zombie movie formula running on its last legs, especially over the course of the past few years. Thankfully, director Ruben Fleischer and writers Reese and Wernick have managed to stumble upon a perfect blend of zombie horror and gore, side-splitting comedy, and above all, a tremendous amount of just plain fun. Right from the get-go, you’re exposed to the subtle aura of intelligence that hovers so modestly over the entire script, what with Eisenberg’s character Columbus promptly introducing us to his thoughtful list of survival “rules” that offers a few laughs as well some refreshing insight on several zombie movie clichés we’ve familiarized ourselves with over time.

Another welcome surprise Zombieland puts forth in this regard is without a doubt its cast of eccentric, thoroughly fleshed out characters. While the film does sport a more than favorable amount of zombie violence and gore, often portrayed via expertly crafted instances of slow motion hilarity, we’re also offered just the right amount of character development that further allows us to be engrossed by the film’s every detail. In fact, the only exception to this, and just about my only qualm with the film, is essentially the sometimes lackluster CGI in relation to the already stupendous instances of run-and-gun zombie mayhem. Oddly enough, this minor flaw is almost entirely forgivable thanks to how unbelievably hilarious Zombieland truly is, from countless witty exchanges of dialogue between characters to a cameo to end all cameos, of which I won’t spoil for you for obvious reasons.

As for the film’s cast, Zombieland once again finds solace in the efforts provided by a troupe of wonderful actors. Harrelson’s no surprise in this regard, but his constant interaction with the always delightful Jesse Eisenberg and his character Columbus’ reserved, almost wimpy demeanor is almost worth the price of admission itself. Needless to say, Harrelson’s Tallahassee and his portrayal of the macho gun-toting badass is hilarious and manages to strike a perfect balance between his character and his nerdy counterpart. Even Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin bring a substantial amount to the table as a pair of two-timing sisters in search of the California-situated theme park Pacific Playland and it’s supposed zombie-free status, effectively rounding off an already stupendous cast.

To put it plainly, Zombieland can safely be considered the most fun I’ve had at the theater in a long time. Having been a fan of the sometimes trite zombie genre for quite some time, I can assure you it’s always a pleasure to stumble upon a film such as this that borderline reinvents it. From nonstop campy horror violence and a simply superb sense of humor to an altogether wonderful cast of characters, Fleischer really managed to hit every note with this hidden gem. I’ll even go so far as to say those who wouldn’t normally consider themselves fans of the genre will have an absolute blast, despite several minor instances of laughable visual effects.

Rating: 9/10

Review: Jennifer’s Body (2009)

Directed by: Karyn Kusama
Starring: Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Johnny Simmons

After a fateful night out on the town with her “BFF” Needy, conceited high school cheerleader Jennifer inexplicably becomes possessed by a flesh-hungry demon. When it’s discovered that this insatiable hunger drives the teen to devour the male classmates that would’ve never had a chance with her prior to her transformation, Needy begins to become suspicious. As events continue to unfold, it becomes abundantly clear that Jennifer is indeed responsible for the murders, and it’s up to Needy to get to the bottom of things and off the bloodthirsty wretch before she gets her hands on her own boyfriend, Chip.

Diablo Cody should at least try to realize that an overabundance of exceedingly clever and pithy dialogue does not necessarily make a good film. Granted, the Oscar-winner’s second venture into yet another world chock full of smart-mouthed hipster teens isn’t a total turn-off, and said dialogue does bring about its fair share of laughs. In fact, the biggest problems Jennifer’s Body suffers from are essentially those dealing with it living up to the high standards fans of Juno and the like had developed when the film was initially put into production, amongst other minor mishaps.

What casual viewers and critics alike have been complaining about the most is without a doubt the genuine lack of substance the film sports in attempting to be a full-blown horror comedy. With this in mind, yes, the scares are few and far between, and a surprising lack of gore leaves us without the campy sense of humor the film seemed to possess prior to its actual release. Additionally, Karyn Kusama’s fairly inconsistent direction fails to compliment Cody’s style of writing to the fullest, thus allowing the film to fall flat on its face during certain points in the already fractured narrative, of which succumbs to several recognizable horror movie clichés. Despite these flaws, I felt the the back-and-forth structure of the narrative was mildly appropriate and the script does possess a few welcome curveballs I found to be quite interesting in the long run.

While the acclaimed writer in question has found solace in some pretty terrific female leads, Megan Fox fails to fit the bill. Of course she’s fine enough to look at, and her portrayal of the all-too-conceited Jennifer is very respectable, but it’s because of her character’s behavior that I had a hard time liking anything about her even before she started offing her male counterparts. Thankfully, Jennifer’s homely best friend Needy, aptly played by Amanda Seyfried, brings a substantial amount to the table where Fox simply couldn’t, and the efforts of the rest of the supporting cast further save Jennifer’s Body from being a total mess.

Needless to say, Jennifer’s Body simply doesn’t provide theatergoers with an altogether original and exceedingly funny horror-comedy experience. Diablo Cody’s often clever style of writing does boost the film at points when it begins to drag, and some elements strewn throughout it managed to be very enjoyable. However, outside of a pretty solid cast, the film has little to offer fans of the genre and of what many had anticipated prior to its release, with the exception of Fox being absolutely gorgeous regardless of the quality of the film she’s starring in. All in all, I’d say it’s worth your time, but don’t expect any Oscar nods this time around.

Rating: 5/10

Review: District 9 (2009)

Directed by: Neil Blomkamp
Starring:  Sharlto Copley, Jason Cope, David James

After a mysterious alien vessel becomes stranded over Johannesburg, South Africa, its inhabitants, known only as “Prawns,” are quickly extracted from said vessel and promptly integrated into society. Almost two decades later, the Prawns have found that they’ve very much outstayed their welcome, and the living conditions inside their own District 9 have deteriorated to an extreme degree. When Multi-National United’s own Wikus van der Merwe is put in charge of evicting the aliens from District 9 in favor of relocating them against their will, the man in question inadvertently comes into contact with an otherworldly substance, setting into motion a series of events that will forever alter the history of mankind.

In the days and weeks leading up to its initial theatrical release, I found myself perpetually intrigued by District 9’s over-the-top yet refreshingly original ad campaign. Unfortunately, said advertising also managed to successfully raise the amount of skepticism I had about seeing it in the first place, what with Peter Jackson’s involvement being all but promising for several reasons that I’ll leave unmentioned. But, when it came down to it, the question that was raised was this: Can District 9 deliver the goods, or was the aforementioned cleverness characteristic of several teaser trailers and the like just a ploy to potentially make back what was lost after opening day? The verdict? Neil Blomkamp’s low-budget sci-fi epic can safely be considered one of the best to come along within the genre in quite a while, if not one of the most thought-provoking and enjoyable films of this year and then some.

Even though I’ve never really favored heavy amounts of political allegory in any piece of cinema, let alone a science fiction epic of D9’s stature, fledgling writer Blomkamp managed to effectively thrust this distate from my mind and replace it with a sense of admiration I never thought I’d be capable of showing. Part of the reason why the screenplay works so well in this regard can be attributed to the obvious relevance of the subject matter in relation to its South African setting, but when it comes down to specifics, the film’s concept as a whole is executed wonderfully and possesses an air of originality not present within other recent forays into the science fiction genre. Pair this with a pretty terrific balance between moments of gratuitous violence and a fair amount of emotional poignance, and you have yourself a pretty solid flick to say the least.

What really managed to do it for me in the long run was essentially District 9’s simply fantastic pacing and overly satisfying conclusion. Without giving too much away, the film sports everything characteristic of a typical sci-fi classic and more, coupling an inventive twist on a tried and true formula with a stylish sort of pseudo-documentary approach in order to help the narrative move along nicely, delivering where it counts during the film’s second and final acts. In fact, the only qualm I had with D9 was essentially my inability to sympathize with Wikus and his plight despite the inevitable worsening of his situation and the emotional hardships he most definitely has to deal with. This can ultimately be attributed to Sharlto Copley’s very respectable, yet utterly inconsistent portrayal of the film’s protagonist, thus forcing me to rely a little more heavily on the film’s action sequences and aura of general intrigue to carry me through to its end.

Copley does manage to come through in the long run, seeing as how the minor flaws present within his efforts as Wikus are forgivable due to his “rising star” status and how wonderful he manages to be during moments of intense dramatic conflict, both intrinsic and extrinsic. Sadly, the same can’t be said for Copley’s human counterparts in regards to the supporting cast, as a majority of these characters seem to exist just to fill the viewer in on what’s happening at that particular moment in time and not much else. Hell, if it makes more sense, the aliens put forth better efforts, which is absurd, yes, but true nonetheless.

District 9 can very well be considered yet another one of my favorite entries into 2009’s already impressive lineup; I’ll even go so far as to call it a sleeper hit, thanks to its ambiguous and utterly ingenious ad campaign. Blomkamp has successfully taken all those elements characteristic of a typical alien invasion-esque science fiction romp and put an incredibly respectable twist on the entire formula, providing us with an ample amount of stylistic flair, ultra-violence, and a hefty dose of political allegory. Unfortunately, my ineptitude in appreciating Copley’s Wikus wholeheartedly only makes the lackluster efforts of the supporting cast members stand out much more, despite the former’s more than admirable efforts in the long run. So, to be frank, District 9 is a much-needed departure from a large amount of mindless big-budget drivel and worth every minute of your time.

Rating: 8/10

Review: Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Directed by: Quentin Tarantino
Starring: Brad Pitt, Eli Roth, Diane Kruger

As the influence of Hitler’s Third Reich begins to spread rapidly across Europe during the Second World War, a group of Jewish-American soldiers self-proclaimed the Basterds are called in to kill and scalp any Nazi they come across in an attempt to strike fear into the heart of the infamous dictator. Before long, the Basterds find themselves unknowingly in cahoots with Parisian theater owner Shosanna Dreyfus, her parents killed several years prior by Nazi soldiers, as a fateful run-in with a German war hero sets into motion a series of events that could forever alter history and put a much-needed end to Hitler’s reign.

Tarantino’s latest can quite easily be considered both a triumph and one of the acclaimed writer/director’s best efforts to date. What Basterds provides us with to support such a statement lies partly within QT’s overly frenetic yet refreshingly original style of writing and the sometimes cartoonish editing that often coincides with it; a formula that if applied to a previously vapid World War II setting would potentially blow the minds of theatergoers everywhere. This being said, the film in question does just that, thanks to some wonderfully charismatic and just plain hilarious characters in conjunction with a purposeful ignorance towards political history that succeeds in every way possible.

One very noticeable difference this time around is, needless to say, the excessive amount of dialogue present within Tarantino’s exceedingly brilliant script. Having witnessed a good deal of this upon viewing a vast majority of his past efforts, Death Proof notably, what Basterds offers here is essentially conversation after conversation that’s chock full of humor, suspense, and perpetual intrigue. Furthermore, the aforementioned cast of characters and the multilingual nature of their personalities, Pitt’s Aldo Raine and the like excluded, provides for the utmost attention to be paid at all times if the viewer wishes to fully immerse themselves in such an awesome experience. With these conversations also comes a heaping dose of violent, almost dementedly over-the-top action sequences that effectively had my jaw glued to the floor for their duration, thus satisfying myself and others when moments of unbearable suspense offered by way of said dialogue come to an inevitable climax.

Another noticeably different yet welcome addition to QT’s tried and true film-making formula is the incredibly diverse yet spot-on casting choices and the excellent efforts put forth by just about all of them. In fact, it’s most definitely Christoph Waltz’s performance as the villainous Col. Hans Landa that reinforces this statement wholeheartedly, with worthwhile efforts from Brad Pitt’s hilarious turn as Lt. Aldo Raine and his band of Basterds following close behind despite a couple of questionable exceptions. Mélanie Laurent is also quite stupendous (and flat-out gorgeous) as the central female protagonist Shosanna Dreyfus, effectively rounding off an already stellar cast of both amateurs and veterans alike.

To conclude, Inglourious Basterds is both Tarantino’s best effort in years and another one of this year’s very best. His always appealing stylistic touch and a sensational ignorance exhibited towards those events surrounding World War II are truly what sets this film apart from others of its type, along with a simply magnificent cast to top it all off. However, if you wouldn’t necessarily deem yourself a die hard fan of his body of work, the lengthy stretches of dialogue and obvious excess of subtitles will very much get on your last nerve. This aside, Basterds is without a doubt one of the year’s best and the first respectable film of its type in ages.

Rating: 9/10

Review: (500) Days of Summer (2009)

Directed by: Marc Webb
Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Zooey Deschanel, Geoffrey Arend

New Jersey-born Tom Hansen has always held a fervent belief in the concept of true love, moreover the idea that everyone should and will at one point find “the one.” Mindlessly trudging from day to day while working behind a desk at a greeting card company, the prospect of Tom finding someone that fit that profile was slim to none. That is, until the lovely Summer Finn very unexpectedly enters his life one day as his boss’s new assistant. Almost immediately, Tom knows that this girl is the one, but what he doesn’t know is that Summer holds in high regard a set of beliefs that are polar opposites of those he stands by. Despite this, the two slowly begin realize they have a good amount in common, and before you know it, inexplicably become more than just friends. But, much to Tom’s dismay, their already questionable relationship hits the rocks just a short while down the road, thus forcing him to confide in his friends and sister in order to help him make the right decision about either moving on with his life or continuing to pursue the girl he always thought he knew was right for him.

After finally getting the chance to see this much-anticipated film of mine, I can safely conclude that it’s quite easily the best of the year thus far. It succeeds where a plethora of other films of its type clearly haven’t, mostly due to how unconventionally and borderline brutally honest it is from start to finish, even though the film’s intentions are made abundantly clear no more than several minutes in thanks to some clever albeit sometimes inconsistent narration. It’s with this characteristic that (500) Days of Summer poses some interesting and refreshingly original thoughts on love and the different theories certain individuals have on the matter, further setting it apart from other run-of-the-mill romcoms by staying unpredictable throughout thanks to this and its unique back-and-forth narrative structure.

Additionally, director Marc Webb and fledgling screenwriters Neustadter and Weber manage to hit just about every mark that counts in making this film as thoroughly enjoyable as it is. Coupled with some ingenious editing, the amount of quirks presented within the script and Webb’s simply terrific direction give (500) Days of Summer yet another emotional boost whenever the need to do so presents itself. I guess some may find it absurd to witness a choreographed dance sequence thrown in amongst some generally… normal happenings, but the scene in question is executed as perfectly as can be and effectively helps illustrate just a small part of the many ups and downs Gordon-Levitt’s Tom experiences during his relationship with Summer.

(500) Days of Summer also sports some seriously impressive efforts provided by way of each and every cast member. For starters, Gordon-Levitt has never really ceased to impress me since his breakthrough roles in the noir-esque Brick and the all too disturbing Mysterious Skin. Putting his most recent G.I. Joe debacle aside, his performance here is spot-on as the overly hopeful yet somewhat naive and underachieving Tom Hansen, deftly adapting to the needs of the script whenever necessary and further proving to me he’s slowly becoming one of the best in the business. His counterpart Deschanel, who’s quite frankly been hit-or-miss in my book, is also quite outstanding in her portrayal of Summer, effectively illustrating all of the character’s weak suits in toying with Tom’s emotions as frequently as can be. Furthermore, the chemistry exhibited between the two is uncanny, and I truly look forward to seeing more of the same from them in the future.

Throw in an excellent supporting cast that’s capable of delivering the appropriate amount of comic relief when needed, and you have yourself one of the most refreshingly original and flat-out best cinematic experiences of year, hands down. With an unconventionally honest, emotionally resonant script, some terrific direction, and a knockout pair of endlessly charming leads, (500) Days of Summer is very much a force to be reckoned with as part of the ever-expanding romantic comedy genre. This being said, I implore you to see this film for yourself, especially if you’re looking for something much more quieter than an explosion-riddled mess based on a line of toys. Excellent, excellent film.

Rating: 10/10

Review: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

Directed by: Stephen Sommers
Starring: Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller

Recruiting only the world’s most elite soldiers, a team known only as G.I. Joe utilizes the latest in military technology to effectively combat terrorism and the like. With global destruction looming heavily on the horizon, General Hawk and his renowned team of “Joes” are called into action to prevent and possibly eliminate the existing threat. The source? A corrupt international arms dealer and his questionable collaboration with Cobra: a mysterious organization hellbent on turning the world into a cesspool of death and disaster.

I truly hope that someday soon, something clicks in the heads of those who believe live-action movies based on an extensive line of toys will amount to something spectacular. Using the most recent Transformers debacle as a very appropriate example, the production of such garbage has effectively tarnished my overall opinion of the beloved cartoon series and the toys it was based on, and oh happy day, Hollywood’s done it again with G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra! This in mind, I present to you a film that possesses such a gratuitous amount of general silliness, even die hard fans of Hasbro’s beloved franchise will have a hard time stomaching it.

Where to begin? Well for starters, the writing and direction are equally to blame for how bad the film turned out in the long run, seeing as how the powers that be found it appropriate to integrate a ridiculous, convoluted romance subplot involving two of the main characters. As if this wasn’t enough, Sommers and the gang felt the need to piss everything characteristic of the classic cartoon series and comics away in favor of equipping our favorite Joes with bionic suits. Yes, that’s right, bionic suits that when donned, effectively “accelerate” the overall performance of the soldiers in question, contradicting the purpose the original Joes were supposed to serve in the first place.

Several incomprehensible plot elements later, we’re introduced to some seriously inconsistent, lackluster CGI and sub par performances. Failed attempts at flashiness aside, how in the world can Channing Tatum be considered an actor when everything he says or yells is inexplicably monotone and coincides with the one facial expression he’s capable of showing us? Needless to say, his portrayal of Duke is abysmal, and not even Wayans’ wisecracking yet ultimately stereotypical Ripcord can counteract this thanks once again to the more than questionable script. What really managed to irk me in this regard was that both Gordon-Levitt and Quaid thought this was good career move, despite the latter’s less than favorable reputation in some cases and a hefty paycheck for all involved. Oh well.

When it comes down to it, the only redeeming quality G.I. Joe has is that of the sometimes passable action sequences. Yes, the CGI is still trash, but you can’t deny the appeal of two highly-skilled ninjas having it out right in front of you. The excess of explosions is arguably hit-or-miss, and aside from that, this film is nothing short of a travesty. So, with all that being said, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra will either please fans of the franchise or thoroughly disgust them via some terrible acting and equally despicable writing and direction. Although it’s hard to deny the lure of yet another flashy summer blockbuster, please try your best to stay away from this one folks and save your hard-earned money.

Rating: 3/10